Blessed be: it’s a witch challenge! Erika curses Abhora with baldness; Evah plays both sides in the boudoir and sweeps the floor show; Kendra tell Yovska, “Well, you are leaving,” and—like a true witch—she manifests it.
Intro! This week I’m the melty screaming face.
Welcome to Episode 3 of our weekly coverage of Dragula: Titans. Everyone’s looking cute in the boudoir this week. I really want Astrud’s jacket. The ghouls discuss Victoria’s extensive history of witch looks, Melissa’s safe placement, and Abhora’s curse. HoSo starts off her incredibly shady episode run by saying she thinks it’s funny that, even with the curse, Abhora still looked better than Erika. Abhora, naturally, joins in with needling Erika.
Erika says in her defense, “I’m not petty, but Abhora was annoying me.” Hmmm, not sure how well that tracks but, to be honest, I’ll always support petty.
Speaking of petty, Kendra enters and immediately begins starting sh*t with Evah and Astrud about how they support her privately but deride her drag publicly. It seems a little small potatoes on the surface, but I understand what she’s getting at. Sometimes the other contestants talk about Kendra in a way that comes off as patronizing; they won’t speak highly of her work in group settings but will encourage her one on one in a way that makes it seem like she’s not on their level.
“I don’t like a lukewarm person,” says Kendra. Me neither, girl.
Science Fiction Double Feature
Back on the main stage, the Boulets introduce this week’s challenge, which will be a “Sci Fi Horror” themed floor show. I love it! Season 2’s version was one of the best in the whole series and I’m sure Victoria, at least, will be out for redemption.
For the Fright Feat, our monsters will have to endure three minutes in a Gravitron. Is it just me or have the Fright Feats been extremely vomit-heavy so far this season? All of them do just fine, though several puke, and HoSo describes the whole experience as the worst thing she’s ever done on Dragula. Yikes.
Petty Party Part 2
Back in the boudoir, our Bermuda love triangle is back in full force, with Astrud and Abhora processing their feelings like the two most toxic lesbians you’ve ever met while HoSo watches from the sidelines. Evah speaks for all of us when she says she’s getting a little tired of it. Kendra (the witch, the oracle) also speaks for all of us when she says, “I’m glad I’ve never f*cked none of y’all.”
As Evah “I’m a cool mom, not a regular mom” Destruction goes to give Abhora a pep talk, Kendra, Melissa, and Koco abscond to the cauldron, where they drink shots from the bottle and gossip. I know which room I’d rather be in. Things turn dark, however, as talk moves to Melissa’s divorce. She confides that her piece of sh*t (ex?) husband left her without warning a week before she came on the show.
I would like to fight this man.
After the three promise to work on their looks this week, we return to the boudoir where we watch our monsters do just that.
A quick whip-around gives us a taste of what we’ll see in the floor show this week. Erika’s going with a Ghidora angle, which I love for her. She also refers to the red paint she’s using as “Suspiria-red,” continuing this season’s trend of dubious film references. Maybe I should start keeping track. Astrud’s doing a take on a parasitic entity, a concept she refers to as “cosmic horror.” Abhora, displaying a bit more knowledge about cosmic horror, is going for a sort of relentless, omnipotent galactic angel/demon. I’m into it but concerned she’ll be dinged for not following the assignment. Victoria’s doing a take on The Thing and I’m already salivating. Mother Black did not come to play this year. (If you’re wondering, yes, she did come to slay.) I’m similarly excited about Koco’s “sex work from the future” look, which seems like it’ll be right in her sweet spot.
The ghouls do a fun little tinfoil hat challenge that Melissa wins and then we’re off the floor show.
Martian, Martian, Martian!
The Boulets look incredible this week. I’m living for their snatched-to-hell sexy alien elves looks. Our guest judges for this challenge are David Dastmalchian, an actor I’m unfamiliar with (I guess because I don’t watch Marvel movies) but who seems lovely, and our very own intergalactic icon, Alaska Thunderf*ck 5000.
Onto the floor show! Before I say anything about individual performance, I want to say that this was by far the best showing of the season. Though I’ve been delighted to have these artists back on my screen, the looks in the first two episodes didn’t really gag me in the way I hoped they would. This episode changes that. Let’s check it out.
This is my favorite look of Astrud’s so far and I’m finally getting a clearer picture of her drag character. I’m super into the grimy texture and the glassy eyes. I’m not sure her intended concept is fully coming across, but I’m fine with that. I think the more Astrud can bring of her furry freak self and the less she can be concerned with a sort of stiff visual perfectionism, the better she’ll do.
I liked this but didn’t love it. And surprisingly, not because of how well it met the prompt! In my book (and in some major genre works) angels and extraterrestrials go hand and hand. I’m actually just a little less enthused by the look as a whole. The fashion is there, but the concept doesn’t fully hit for me, and though I love everything else going on above the neck, I’m not crazy about the eye rings around her head. She didn’t necessarily deserve to be sent home for this look, but it’s not her strongest work.
Erika looks good this week! The Ghidora concept comes through beautifully and her use of bright colors really adds to the overall effect. I would say this is probably her best (visual) work on the show.
Evah’s really turning it with the performances this season. In fact, her performance this week was so strong that I didn’t even notice that the look wasn’t hitting until she was standing in front of the judges. Even so, while the body suit and weird armor-looking pieces didn’t really come together, the face looked good to me. She can definitely do better, though.
This look is really fun! I love the overall effect, as well as the thoughtful details like the demon masks around her face. A great week for HoSo. I’m really glad to see her refining her color palette this season.
When I saw Kendra’s Jetsons-inspired look this week, my heart sank. I love Kendra and wish that she could properly showcase her drag this season, but her visual point of view just isn’t translating. It’s a shame because her performance was as wonderful as always.
I loved this one. When Koco is on, she’s motherf*cking on. Her drag character is so fully-realized and so perfectly suited to her. It would be easy to say that she’s “resting on pretty” or whatever, and I know some people criticize her for that, but there are few performers who can bring hot/cold/sexy/scary like she can. It’s such an overall stunning visual effect. She looks like a space bimbo straight off of the cover of some sci-fi pulp novel and I’m livinggggg.
So, I know that last week I was concerned with all of the facial prosthetics, but I’m eating my words. I think the difference is that this week’s Predator look is so quintessentially Melissa. The boots, the nails, the stoned body suit, the death drops…I love it all. I’m still hoping we see her beautiful face next week but, for now, I’m happy.
The best was saved for last this week. Not just the best look of the episode. No, this was one of the best looks ever seen on the show as a whole. The silhouette alone was horrifying, but when she came out swinging her arms around so that it was nearly impossible to tell which part of her was a prosthetic and which was her actual body, my jaw was on the floor. Her craftsmanship is impeccable and she’s finally bringing her thoughtful approach to design into her performances as well. And yes, she has on lashes this time.
The Boulets deliberate. They loved Astrud’s look but felt her performance needed a little more work (cue Astrud flopping around like a fish out of water); they felt Abhora once again missed the mark on meeting the prompt, and they weren’t wild about Evah’s “mail-ordered” bodysuit and her overall performance. She does, however, prompt this hilarious exchange:
“She came in on a broom last week, this week’s a mop; next week she’s gonna come in on a Roomba.”—Big Boulet
“Evah obsessed with clean floors.”—Little Boulet
After the ghouls are brought back to the main stage, we learn that Erika and Melissa are safe. Erika’s crushed and Victoria gives us a hint of shadiness when she says she thinks Erika should be thrilled to be safe, given her respective skill set. As for the rest of them, Astrud, Koco, Victoria, and HoSo are at the top of the heap, while Evah, Abhora, and Kendra land at the bottom.
Evah’s dinged for her bodysuit, but it’s clear Abhora and Kendra are firmly in the bottom two. The questionable film references continue as David Dastmalchian says he thinks Astrud looks like an “H. R. Giger creature.” Girl…how? Anyways, the judges love her. She and Koco, who seemingly prompts the rest of the contestants to murmur and salivate as she crosses them on the stage (her power), certainly did well this week, but the top slots are definitely reserved for HoSo and Victoria. Before they go, however, we are treated to a super catty remark from HoSo who snipes that Koco “mistook sci-fi horror with sci-fi wh*re.” Ma’am. After that shady moment, the judges shock me by declaring HoSo the winner before revealing that it was actually a double win with Victoria. Gagula indeed. I’m okay with this, but frankly, I think Vicki deserved to take this one solo.
Oh Say Can You See
Back in the boudoir, things are tense. Both Erika and Kendra seem to feel stuck in the competition. Kendra starts to talk about her very understandable worry that her looks are never good enough, but is cut off by like five other monsters who want to talk about themselves instead. Even the editors have their own shady moment when they play “The Star Spangled Banner” over Astrud’s long, convoluted speech about…something (I don’t even remember and I don’t want to go back to check.) I will say, her thing about people being like, “Astrud, I didn’t know that you were a fun, enjoyable person to be around” is so lacking in self-awareness that it’s kind of iconic.
On a darker note, Abhora is truly residing in another mind-prison of her own making this season. After trying hard not to let out her nastier impulses, she goes off on all the contestants who think Kendra deserves to stay, calling them c*nts and threatening that they better hope she goes home this week. No one is impressed. In a typically biting (and correct) confessional, Koco says Abhora’s the one who should hope she goes home after that display.
Fortunately for Abhora (and perhaps unfortunately for everyone else), it’s Kendra who plummets down the trap door at the end of the episode. I am truly sad to see her go. In the first episode, Abhora says that the competition would lose steam if she left, and I feel that same way about Kendra. She’s truly made every episode of this season a delight to watch and I loved seeing her showcase her drag on the main stage. RIP to a real one.
Most Likely to Win: Still Victoria TBH, though HoSo’s edging up there.
Who I Want to Win: Still Melissa, but I gotta add Victoria in there as well after this episode.
Best Looks: VICTORIA, HoSo, Melissa, Koco, and Astrud all really brought it this week.
Most Improved: Koco, Melissa, and Astrud.
Biggest Mom Energy (both complimentary and pejorative): Evah.
Biggest Mean Mommi Energy: Koco.
Cleanest Floors: Evah.
Most Quotable Run in Dragula History: Kendra Onixxx.
In honor of Kendra, I’m taking all of this week’s best lines from her (which is easy to do):
- “They told me to take out the trash.”
- “I don’t like a lukewarm person.”
- “I should just f*ck Astrud and get it over with.”
- “I’m very, very communicative.”
- “They were gonna go in—that’d be slimy.”
- “The horror aspect of my character is that she needs her f*cking money. And that’s horrible.”
- “Grandmother bitch!”
Lastly, some notes from my partner, who watched with me while I wrote my recap this week:
- “The 180 I’ve done on Astrud now that I know she’s just a weird furry.”
- “Why is Melissa’s Predator so hot to me?”
- “Evah’s being a fair-weather mommy.”
- “Jealous! Wicked stepsister!” (re: HoSo comment about Koco)
- “Everyone just wants a little lobster claw this episode, I guess.”
Thanks for tuning in! I’ll see you next week for whatever new horrors await us. Just a heads-up that I’m currently traveling so my photos might be a little iffy for the next two episodes and next week’s post is going to be slightly delayed. In the meantime, free to let me know in the comments if I’m an idiot or a genius. Just remember: recapping is art and art is subjective.