When I first read the publicist’s description of The Monster AKA I Don’t Want to be Born, I thought that sounded like a bit of a laugh and was intrigued to watch as it was being promoted under the heading of “British Horror Classics.” This was the description: “Joan Collins gives an unforgettable performance as a stripper cursed by a sinister dwarf to give birth to a demonic child in this classic 1970s exploitation horror.” Now that I’ve seen it, I’m still not sure it can justify the “horror classics” label, but I’ll tell you all about it and you can decide for yourself.
Yes, the story is ludicrous, and myriad other films have clearly been harvested for ideas, but I have to credit director Peter Sasdy (Taste the Blood of Dracula, The Stone Tape) for the sheer nerve of putting them all together like this. As a serious film, The Monster is clearly a non-starter, but there is a lot to enjoy about it, including the very idea that it was intended as something serious; and thus you’re watching a terrific cast make a fool of themselves. The cast as a whole is the epitome of 1979s British entertainment: Joan Collins (as the central character Lucy, who I’ve already mentioned), Ralph Bates (Dear John, Poldark), Caroline Munro (Dracula A.D. 1972, Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter), Donald Pleasence (You Only Live Twice, Halloween), Hilary Mason (Don’t Look Now), Eileen Atkins (Equus), and even Floella Benjamin (best known for presenting children’s TV show Play School for over ten years). These are all people with real presence, indeed gravitas in some cases, and they play every role with true solemnity as if it didn’t dawn on them at all when reading the script that their agent was perhaps playing a prank on them. Well, all except for the marvelous Ms. Collins, who is working up to her Dynasty role even then, with plenty of hair-flicking and melodrama.
The Monster is well and truly set in 1970s London, and will not let any viewer forget it. I’m not just talking about the cast now, but the décor, the clothes, and the shops. Even the treatment of women, which I found rather interesting: Lucy’s husband Gino Carlesi (yes, Bates plays an Italian man) has a pretty, short-skirted secretary, and Lucy left a strip-dance career to marry him, but it’s rare that any of the female characters are talked down to or treated as inferior; the writing seems strangely proud of that. Indeed, the rather careful camera takes an extra couple of seconds to admire the dancer’s breasts in one scene but prudishly gazes only at feet and backs during a sex scene between the married couple. This dichotomy is perhaps a clue to how seriously Sasdy expected the film to be taken: there is no Russ Meyer-style relishing of the female form here, but rather the strippers are part of the story’s background (and indeed the scenery), rather than something to be stared at.
But honestly! A dwarf who curses a woman who rejects him, an Italian nun with an awful accent (oh yes, Gino’s sister is a nun), premonitions…this is one ludicrous film, just presented as though it is not. And I haven’t even got to the baby. This baby (called Nicolas, of course) appears to be alternately sweet and harmless or crying, just as any normal child, but Lucy is convinced he is possessed by the Devil. I’ll try to avoid spoilers, but various people are attacked with knives, or shoved/pulled into water, and worse, and there is no way to show that the child is doing all of this when not much more than a (granted large) newborn, so it all happens off-camera. Some of the violence is quite explicit, mind you, even though you only see what the knife is doing and not who is holding it, with a significant amount of blood for that time, a Rank-produced film no less.
Funny: if I saw a modern film in which a woman accused her baby of being evil or possessed, and in which we did not see the child do anything out of the ordinary, it would be a perfectly natural step to wonder if the mother was losing her grip; or at least if that’s what the film was suggesting. Lucy’s gynecologist Dr. Finch (Pleasence) is courteous towards her, though does suggest she sees a psychiatrist; not because there might be something up with Lucy’s reading of the situation, but because it might reveal events in her past that could have influenced the baby’s behavior. Even her husband doesn’t seem to consider Lucy neurotic: even in a ridiculous story, everyone treats each other with a bizarre level of respect.
I am attuned to watch for allegory or metaphor since paying close attention to modern horror films, so I looked for them here too. I wondered whether the out-of-control child represented the difficulty a woman faces in moving from a glamorous life to a domestic one—but no, The Monster is simply a fun and over-the-top story masquerading as drama. There was some philosophical potential in a conversation between Sister Albana (Atkins) and Dr. Finch about science versus evil, but it had no depth and turned out to be there solely to lead the plot to its next stage.
If this film sounds intriguing, it’s been released “as a brand-new high definition remaster from original film elements in its original theatrical aspect ratio” by Network. Special Features include interviews, audio commentary, theatrical trailer, and a limited edition booklet.